TMCG: Wiseman, Watchman I


S5EP5-22Feb2011-Metal Detective


Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I wonder if there is a long con afoot in the Curious George universe. I no longer have any idea who is watching whom, who is the subject and who is the observer. To keep what remains of my sanity, I must believe that someone is in charge, that there is some sort of grand experiment being conducted, and that a Watcher in some sort of Foucaultian Panopticon is gleefully f*cking with his prisoners.
Is this God?
Am I God? Am I the Watcher? The nature of television seems to dictate that this is so, that I myself am the all-powerful, He Who Can End Misery With the Holy Clicker.
But I cannot end it. As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. A god would be able to stay away, and I am therefore a toad. I will therefore be a toad. Stoned like Stephen, still hanging onto ideology, so soaked with misguided belief that it would take a Crane to get it out. I am the prisoner, not the watcher.
So is there a simpler explanation? Is there an in-universe puppeteer who controls the destinies of all involved, so that my delusions of control and omnipotence are akin to someone reading about an experiment in a scientific journal and irrationally declaring his own hand in the results? If I am not around to hear Curious George chortle and shriek, does he make a sound?
Consider Yorbo. Yorbo is a robot, an ephemeral robot that exists for one episode only. He is dubbed George’s favorite toy by both the Man in the Yellow Hat (MYH) and George himself. If Yorbo has not achieved AI self-awareness, he is very close—Yorbo can understand George’s grunts and chitters as if they were a language, he follows complex commands, and he coherently answers questions. In my own universe, such a robot would be worth many thousands of dollars and exist either in the robotics lab of an American university or the lobby of a Tokyo car dealership.
Curious George takes Yorbo to the beach. When a storm rolls in, George and MYH rush into the house and leave Yorbo in the sand. When George suggests they need to get Yorbo, MYH says it is raining too hard. In fact, Yorbo the sentient robot is not even worth searching for until the storm is over, and by that time he has either been buried in the sand or washed out to sea.
MYH and George go out to look for Yorbo. MYH and George rake up all the seaweed and then just randomly dig holes. A passing beachcomber offers the use of her metal detector, but it soon runs out of batteries. What to do?


Deus ex machina. The Watcher, the Prime Experimenter, appears on MYH’s laptop screen. It is Professor Wiseman. She knows all. Wiseman has been watching. She knows there was a storm. She knows all about Yorbo, bewails his disappearance, and then instructs George on how to build his own metal detector by taping a calculator to an AM radio (I Googled this. It is not bullshit). Wiseman knows what drawer the calculator and tape are in; she knows what shelf upon which the radio can be found.
Wiseman is the panopticon. Her name is neither random nor ironic.


With the help of this gadget, Yorbo is unearthed. He is no worse for the wear, which is a stick in the eye for MYH, who had suggested earlier that water would rust a metal robot. MYH a damn fool. Yorbo jumps with glee at being found and hugs George; together, monkey and robot disappear over a sand dune, playing and living joyfully.
No one ever sees or discusses Yorbo again. Yorbo is Richie Cunningham’s older brother. Yorbo existed for George to love and lose, so that Wiseman might teach a lesson about electronics and engineering.


How do I know? Because friendships and robots and bit players are as impermanent as storms, but George does not forget a lesson. By the very next episode, Curious George is building his own machines.



-Professor Zac Showers

Elon Musk: Nerdy Hen Farmer or Literal Android?

Fact: Elon Musk coded a computer game called “Blastar” at the age of 12 which he later sold for $500. Fact: bears, beets, (if you’ll pardon the pun) Battlestar Galactica. Also fact: Tesla is the only company producing quality electric vehicles at this moment (8 October 2017 22:55). Through cooperation of the federal government and partnerships with successful entities like Panasonic I see a substantial future for the concept and the company. Elon Musk has revolutionized a more sustainable future of transportation as we know it. He is more passion driven than profit driven made obvious by his $1 a year salary as the MFCEO of Tesla, a $93 Billion company, and his many charitable organizations. Most notably, signing the Giving Pledge (Which is basically just a gang of rich white dudes who have so much money that the only plausible thing to do with most of it is give it away) with his boys; Bill Gates(a ghost writer for Rick Ross), Sir Richard Branson(known for losing to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau for the role of the “Kingslayer” on HBO’s popular incest documentary, The Game of Thrones) Warren Buffett(Cheeseburger in Paradise), and Mark Zuckerberg(TL;DR stole The Facebook). History has proved that the more you care about a project and aren’t hindered by the desire of extreme wealth, the more successful you will be. Just look at the Winklevoss twins, they are very successful cannabis delivery start-up-ers with their company, Eaze. Not to mention the Winklviis exchange-traded fund for bitcoin; Winklevoss Bitcoin Trust which is expected to skyrocket to potentially the most effective and successful imaginary money laundering business this side of the Mississippi (watch out Jason Bateman). My only worry is that because Elon Musk has most all his stock vested, that leaves little incentive for him to stay with Tesla as CEO. Even with him holding a board seat after stepping down as CEO, which is most likely gonna happen, will partners and employees stay hungry and loyal without his full delegation? More importantly, does Elon Musk want to cross Panasonic in any way? I’d bet Saigō Takamori would have a comment about this. You don’t go rogue on Japan, that’s something you’re taught as a child, like you don’t eat gas station egg salad sandwiches, just ask a Samurai (and no, not the vertically challenged actor, who plays as the asshole brother to the mentally challenged man, in the movie Rain Man).  I just don’t see enough of his time given to appease all of his partners. Just look at a few of the things this dude is involved in on some, mostly important, level:

  • SpaceX(Self-funded/CEO)- Rockets and #spacelife
  • Neuralink(CEO)-Basically the cloud in your brain
  • Solar City(Chairman)-No more power bills…kind of
  • Hyperloop-Uber meets Chuck-E-Cheese
  • Chuck-E-Cheese-The UFC meets Krusty Krab
  • Open AI(non-profit)-pretty much all the technology worlds own little version of the NSA, but don’t quote me on that
  • Stripe(YUUGE shareholder)-wouldn’t be able to use apple pay without it.
  • Google Deepmind/Vicarious(“          “)-Terrifying Artificial Intelligence & Neurological Technology
  • Surrey Satellite Technology-remember that P.O.D. song? Me too.


I think this guy has an abundance of eggs that he is putting in too many different baskets. Tesla and Hyperloop are similar baskets that he could correlate and better revolutionize human and just general transportation as we know it. I guess you could throw SpaceX in that category notionally, but synthetic biology and A.I. is a whole different monster that would spread his unique talents and acquired partnerships thin. I guess the dude is splitting two separately linear passions and producing success but how long will It Last? Getting to Mars, although I have zero personal experience with space travel, seems time consuming. Just thinking about the trip there alone is giving me flashbacks of uncomfortable road trips with my family to visit relatives we saw once a year, add dangerous asteroid belts and the potential of spontaneously combusting and IM OUT! It would be cool to see the Great Wall of China on the way to Mars though. And don’t even get me started with A.I. and synthetic biology (that’s for a whole different blog, coming soon). There are pros and cons with anything though I guess. especially things that offer never ending benefits for quality of life. And with that I have Elon Musks’ senior yearbook photo and quote:


 “I made $307 million in 1999 by selling my first company, Zip2, that i created after dropping out of college…GO Lions!!…btw Y2K is fake and i also created time machines probably”

-Elon “Life-long Perfection” Musk

I feel like his obsession to constantly be making and advancing technology comes from a desire to build himself without normal biological means. He seems fascinated with simulating humankind to lengthen(EV’s) a more perfect(A.I./Synthbio) version of ourselves, when honestly, I think that we could be that already if we just got to know our real selves. But I digress, its apparent that Elon Musk is some type of enigmatic, brilliant, South African android of some sort. With a WEIRD ass name like that, he probably has a better grip on things than I know. I’d be interested in his stress management techniques. He probably is a huge weed head. I know some whiny privileged twins he could get some dank broccoli from.